How I disobeyed God the last 7 years

Did God tell you to do something and you dragged your feet slow to obey? Me (with both hands raised)!

In 2017 after our move back to PA I was prompted by Father God to write a book about God’s design for sex based on my six years of experience at a pregnancy resource center ministry. I started well, hired a book coach and finished the first draft in 90 days. The book didn’t have enough words to be considered a book, it would be a booklet - that was my first wall. I became discouraged and stopped working on it.

A few months later I started back up and added information about healthy relationships and other important life lessons to the book. I re - wrote and polished the book. Second draft complete!

But I started fearing man - who am I to write about this? What will people say about me? Will young women read this? I wasn’t trusting in God and what He called me to do. Second wall that became a snare. “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” Prov 29:25 (NIV)

I worked on and off the book from 2017 to 2019. I joined a well known Christian writing group, went to writers conferences, joined online forums. At the conferences I showed my books to publishers and agents. They loved the content but I never received a publishing contract. My Our Heart’s Desire book won two non - published book awards at two writers conferences! Thank you God! But why wasn't my book getting contracts? I got the answer from an agent. He said if a Christian publisher has a similar book about sex by a well known author they won’t publish another similar subject book by someone not well known - me (not in those exact words but you get what I mean). Wall number three for me.

I sat on my book for five years 2019 - 2024. Every now and then I thought about self - publishing but I didn’t go through with the process. I did have valid excuses for some of those years - my husband was deployed out of the country for ten months, our youngest daughter was going through a rough time, our oldest daughter was in traveling lacrosse for four of those years. You know how life goes.

And Abba Yahweh worked on me through out those five years. 2019 - 2020 I completed the Empower program from the Metropolitan District of the Christian and Missionary Alliance. I learned more about me and God. I got delivered from demons I didn’t know I had! I started growing in stature and knowledge of the Lord. I worked at a church for three of those years. Volunteered as a girls basketball coach for a special urban ministry until 2021. Trusting God’s gifts and the calling He gave me.

In spring of this year, 2024, I did it. I reached out to Urban Press to obtain information about their publishing process. I took the leap of faith. I started the publishing process for my Our Heart’s Desire book!! I must obey God in this. I will not fear man anymore. God’s perfect love casts out all fear. I now understand what that means. This book will do what He wills - whether it is for that one young woman who reads it or 1 million readers. I trust you God!

If God called you to do something - please obey without delay. Your call is an answer to someone’s prayer. Don’t do what I did. Your gift is to be used to help others and most important for God’s glory.

Do you want to be a part of my book launch team? If so let me know! The book launch should be in January or February. I will keep you posted. Thank you for reading.